Thursday, August 4, 2011

Medical Mystery In Berlin

Berlin, Germany - Hospital officials have confirmed an internet rumor than a child was born on July 23rd with an unusual characteristic. The child was born with nipples that were shaped like swastika’s. The child, whose name is being withheld, was born in the Berlin National Hospital in the afternoon of 23 July to two Jewish parents from outside of Berlin.

The parents, who requested anonymity, told reporters that they will love their son, regardless of the unusual birth mark. The child’s father, who we will call Pops, stated that it will be hard adjusting to seeing the birthmark.
“My grandfather was a casualty of the camps in Poland. My father was a survivor of the war by hiding out in the United Kingdom with my grandmother. To see this reminder of the worst event in Jewish history on something to precious, I just don’t know if I can handle it. I want to cry when I see his chest.” 
The delivering doctor, again anonymous due to hospital regulations, stated that in his 15 years of delivering babies, he has never seen anything like this. “I think this is a once in a lifetime event that was a fluke of nature. I don’t expect that we will find another child like this anywhere.”
The internet has been abuzz with people demanding photos to verify the existence of these unusual shaped nipples. Neo Nazi groups have latched onto this story as it being God showing that the Third Reich and the work of the Nazi party is completely justified and supported. Both Pro-Jewish and Pro-Nazi groups have been engaging in a battle on the internet about what it means since the rumor first appeared online in late July. 
Ripley’s has already contacted the parents, seeking to get photographs of the child for their collection. The parents have no made a decision about this offer yet, instead focusing on healing the mother and raising the small child to adulthood. Ripley’s refused to comment to the Baltimore Fake Times Journal when asked about the offer they made to the parents.
Whatever you believe about the child, he’s a healthy baby boy of 9 pounds, 8 ounces and full of life. That’s the true miracle in all of this. 
Annabel Lee is a freelance journalist for the Baltimore Fake Times Journal. She has no desire to become a mother, though she respects those who do. Also, nipples creep her out anyway. 
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