Monday, July 18, 2011

What Brown Won't Do For You

Atlanta, GA - A lawsuit was filed in Fulton County Georgia today by the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, or NAACP, today. The lawsuit alleges that United Parcel Service, or UPS, uses a shade of brown for their uniforms that are offensive to members of the NAACP’s donor base. 

“We know some people think that brown is just a color, but have you ever seen a colored person in that uniform? They look naked with pockets on their skin. It is quite humiliating. We merely ask that UPS change the color of their uniforms to something more flattering to people of all colors.” The official press release offered new colors for the uniforms, such as red, blue and purple. 
“We don’t believe there is anything wrong with our uniform colors. We have used brown since the start of our company, and we will continue to do so unless ordered to stop by a court. We feel, at this time, that the NAACP is using this as a ploy to generate more revenues from their donors during a down recession, and that it has nothing to do with the color of our uniforms,” Harold Baines, spokesman for UPS said, when asked by reporters. 
We asked University of Maryland Frivolous Lawsuit Teacher, Wanda Pachek, for her reaction to the lawsuit filed by the NAACP. She said, “This just appears to be a donation stunt. There is no way that the NAACP honestly believes that UPS will be forced to choose a new color for their uniforms. Additionally, courts might think that brown is actually a safer color for the drivers, as many of the choices put forth by the NAACP are gang affiliated colors. With a large portion of workforce that is non-white, color makes a difference in the neighborhoods visited.”
The Fulton County Courthouse will review the filing paperwork over the next week. A decision if it will be allowed to proceed is expected before the end of August. 
Annabel Lee is a freelance journalist for the Baltimore Fake Times Journal. She thinks there are far too many lawsuits out there, and none of them match her shoes. 

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