NASA Wants To Probe Uranus

Goddard Research Center, MD - NASA announced a new probe being sent into space in 2018, with an intended destination of the planet Uranus. This marks the first permanent vessel around the planet, and comes only a few years after a probe to the former planet Pluto, which expected to arrive and orbit the newly classified dwarf planet in 2015.

Uranus has been one of the places NASA has wanted to go for years. They’ve talked about sending probes to Uranus to get complete surface photos and learn more about the planets weather patterns. The probe will be similar to the Cassini probe already in orbit of Saturn. Researchers expect to get a better understanding of the solar systems seventh planet. 

“We feel that Uranus is one place that needs to be explored. What better way than putting small probes onto the surface to analyze the data?” NASA spokeswoman Elsie Brighton told reporters during a press conference called at Goddard, a break from the tradition of new NASA missions being announced in Houston. 

“This mission is one of the most technical and highly sophisticated in the history of NASA. We will have the most advanced components possible, the highest resolution cameras and spectrometers, as well as propulsion systems. We are looking forward to the launch of this new probe and finding out what’s lurking on Uranus.”

Critics of the program couldn’t stop snickering and laughing at the way the project was described. Everything turned into a butt joke, much to the dismay of the NASA officials. One reporter laughed so hard, they blacked out and required medical attention. 

“Exploring Uranus using probes is the best way to learn more about the planet. We want to see if there is a hard surface underneath the atmosphere. We want to learn about the moons and the gravity of Uranus. In fact, I’d have to say, I’m particularly fond of Uranus,” Brighton finished her press release by saying. 

Annabel Lee is okay. She only had a bruise on her head from hitting the floor from passing out from the laughter. 

Annabel Lee is a freelance journalist for the Baltimore Fake Times Journal. She thinks Uranus needs to remain unexplored, for fear of the gaseous eruptions from deep within.