Hardee's Announces Six Pound Burger

St. Louis, MO. - Hardee’s, part of the CKE Restaurant line including Carl’s Jr., announced a new sandwich added to their line of large hamburgers. The new sandwich will contain two pound burger patties and come in a variety of different ways. One burger, the six pound burger, is six pounds of angus beef on a specially designed roll for Hardee’s restaurants. 

“We believe that people want more food for their dollar. We know that these burgers may be excessive, but they’re not intended to be eaten in one sitting. We cut the sandwich into four pieces, allowing the consumer to eat what they’d like and refrigerate the remaining portions. We only include items that taste delicious out of the microwave, to prevent spoilage or soggy burgers. We include reheating instructions on the side of the carton,” Sarah Gifford, spokeswoman for CKE Restaurants, stated when asked about the new product.

The new line will be called the “Double Burger Burger” line. This is added to the “Six Dollar Burger” line of products already available. The DBB, as it has been called, includes bacon cheese burger, cheeseburger and western cheeseburger varieties. They are available in one, two and three patty versions. A single patty DBB cheeseburger is expected to cost consumers $7.50. The western cheeseburger with three patties will cost $11.75. 

Hardee’s expects to see sales increase in their target areas, as other chains have moved away from burgers to salads and other product lines. This could help Hardee’s move up from the 4^th largest chain in America to number three, surpassing Wendy’s. Experts disagree and say that Hardee’s is doing more harm that good with this new DBB line.

Dietician and food science expert, Linda Wilcox, from the University of Minnesota, told us when asked, “This is a product that shows everything that is wrong with the food culture in America. Here you have a burger that is completely oversized. One of the smaller burgers has a full days worth of calories. This leads to larger Americans during the largest obesity crisis in world history. This burger should not be consumed by anyone, for any reason. Even with the company saying that it is four portions, we know that as food sizes have increase, so have waistlines. People will eat far more than they should, leading to higher rates of obesity and obesity related illnesses. Hardee’s should be ashamed of themselves for this type of product being launched.”

Whether the reception will be favorable or not for the new “Double Burger Burger” line, time will tell. The line is expected to launch in mid-August at all Hardee’s locations. The DBB will not be available at Carl’s Jr. at this time. 

Rumors have famed competitive eating champion Takeru Kobayashi staring in the commercials, eating the burger with record speeds. Hardee’s refused to comment directly when asked about their marketing campaign. Kobayashi was unavailable for comment, as he had his mouth full.

Annabel Lee is a freelance journalist for the Baltimore Fake Times Journal. She tried eating one of those 96 ounce steaks once. She fell a few bites short of finishing the whole thing. It cost her $55 for her efforts.