Billings, MT - A 7 year old boy was caught shoplifting at a Wal-Mart in Billings today. The boy was caught with less than $10 in merchandise from the largest company in America. The boy was held until his parents could be reached. Rather than pressing charges, the corporate giant reached an agreement with the boys family.
The decision was that Ethan Davies would work as a greeter for an hour, saying “hi” to all the patrons of the store. Ethan was given a blue vest and a chair, allowing him to sit and greet all the visitors to the store. Since the boy was so young, and had such a small amount of property in his possession, this was deemed the most fair way to compensate for his actions.
When asked about being a greeter for an hour, Ethan told reporters, “It was fun. Old ladies gave me candy and I had so many stickers”. He was covered in yellow smily face stickers.
This is not the first time a child has been asked to work for the Retail Giant as part of a shoplifting charge. In 2005, a fifteen year old girl was given three hours as a greeter for attempting to shoplift a bottle of nail polish. The girl stated afterwards that she was thankful for the opportunity to make amends rather than going to Juvenile Correctional Services.
Annabel Lee is a freelance journalist with the Baltimore Fake Times Journal. She has never worked at Wal-Mart. She applied twice and was told she was “too qualified”.