Company Opens For Business; Doesn't Know What It Does

Fargo, ND - The town was gathered outside of a new building, the largest in Fargo. It is a masterpiece of architecture and construction, a testament to technology outsmarting the weather. It is complete with enough office space for 5,000 workers and multiple cutting edge business practices. The doors opened for the first time, welcoming employees into the building to the sounds of a high school marching band welcoming them to their first days of work for the new venture. That’s when things started getting weird. 

The staff gathered in the lobby, wondering what exactly it was that the company does. The fact that the company president had absolutely no idea what the company does made for what would have been a nice start to a business venture quite vexing. 

“We thought we knew what we did here, but with all the changes before we opened the doors, we’ve gone in several different directions. Only the top of the company knows exactly what we do, and even that information hasn’t been passed down. Originally, we were to be a software company, but that branched down into a financial services company, then it was a combination of the two, then it became an insurance company. So, we’re just waiting for the leadership to pass on what we’re supposed to be doing here.” The official statement from the company president read. 

One of the employees, Brendon Davis, told us, “I was hired to do IT support for them, and when I showed up, I had a desk and a supervisor and everything. It felt like a normal day except that none of us knew what it was that we were supposed to be doing. We were told to stay the whole day and that we’d be paid for our time. We just didn’t have anything to do.’

The company, which so far does not have an official name, is expected to inform employees of the nature of the company sometime in the next week. Until then, the employees will be paid for the work they’re not doing and are expected to show up for non-work on time. 

Annabel Lee is a freelance journalist for the Baltimore Fake Times Journal. She has worked for some interesting companies, but they all knew at least what they were supposed to be doing.