Friday, June 24, 2011

What do Oprah and Princess Diana Have In Common?

Irving, TX - Kimberly-Clark, makers of Kleenex brand facial tissues, announced record sales during the month of May 2011. The increase in sales corresponds to the final episode of Oprah’s daytime television program on May 25th.

Attached to the financials for the month of May, the official press release from Kimberly-Clark stated: 
We have seen our sales of Kleenex brand facial tissues reach record levels during the month of May. Our peak sales were the week of May 25th, the same week that Oprah’s finale was aired. The number of units sold during May was six times higher than in the second quarter of fiscal year 2010. 
“We believe that the countless men and women who love Oprah were sitting at home, crying over her leaving daytime television, and using Kleenex brand facial tissues to clean themselves up afterwards. We have seen similar phenomenon in the past regarding spikes in Kleenex sales, including the Royal Wedding of Diana to Prince Charles. 
“We would like to thank Oprah for her 25 years on television, and all of our customers who have purchased Kleenex tissues for the event.”
Skeptics debate whether the spike in sales was related to the end of the Oprah show. Some point to a harsher than normal allergy season that spiked during May. Others have attributed the increased sales to the Rapture, crying for those who were to be left behind. Whatever the case, Kimberly-Clark stock (KMB) rose 7 points on the market today. 
Annabel Lee is a freelance journalist for the Baltimore Fake Times Journal. She still doesn’t understand the Oprah phenomenon. 

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