Baltimore, MD - The much awaited Rapture was supposed to occur on Saturday, May 21, 2011. Our reporter, Annabel Lee, didn’t find out until this morning. Having learned that the world had ended on Saturday, she immediately decided to run down the street naked. To her surprise, she was the only one nude on the streets. Not to let the opportunity go to waste, she asked people what they thought about the End of Times occurring.
“I think you need to put some clothes on,” one woman said, refusing to give her name.
“Get a life!” shouted a bald man in a 1985 Ford Fiesta, driving past her.
A man coming out of Shop Rite said “Nice rack,” before whistling at her.
Finally, a man in a blue uniform said “Ma’am, you need to put some clothes on”. Then he slapped handcuffs on her and informed her of her Miranda rights.
She spent three hours in Baltimore City jail before being released on bond. We’re all hoping that she learns a lesson from all this. But since it is Annabel, we don’t hold any faith that she’ll learn anything.
Keith Couture is Annabel Lee’s boss. He’s tired of getting stories from her that are covered in grape jelly and written in crayon.