Washington, D.C. - A tourist was arrested today when he took a picture at the National Mall. The man was taking a traditional photo where one lays down on the far end of the Reflecting Pool and positions themselves where the Washington Monument appears in the background. The image is supposed to generate the look that the individuals genitals are quite large.
“The individual was laying on the edge of the Reflecting Pool, when they positioned themselves for the photograph. That is when an officer on foot patrol stepped in and arrested the individual for indecent exposure,” police spokesman H. G. Westminster told reporters.
“I don’t understand what happened? I’ve seen that picture done hundreds of times before, and now, they arrest me? Why was it suddenly offensive to present you had a giant Washington boner?” quipped the tourist, William Gavins from New Orleans, Louisiana. “There is no reason that I shouldn’t be able to take that photograph, and I’m still outraged.”
When we at the Fake-Times went to the mall looking for witnesses, we couldn’t find anyone who was still around from earlier. We did see, however, other individuals who were taking the photograph that Gavins was arrested for taking. The police were in the same area at the time arresting photographers.
“It’s discrimination, pure and simple,” Gavins said in an exclusive with the Fake-Times.
When we questioned Officer Westminster about the specifics, he replied, “It is high time to enforce creativity laws that are on the books. One such laws says that you may not take a photograph of something that has been photographed. We're only doing our job."
Gavins was released on bail, and will have to remain in the DC Metro area until his arraignment on Tuesday. In all, police arrested 48 individuals for lack of creativity. Warning signs are now posted on the National Mall, advising originality.
“The individual was laying on the edge of the Reflecting Pool, when they positioned themselves for the photograph. That is when an officer on foot patrol stepped in and arrested the individual for indecent exposure,” police spokesman H. G. Westminster told reporters.
“I don’t understand what happened? I’ve seen that picture done hundreds of times before, and now, they arrest me? Why was it suddenly offensive to present you had a giant Washington boner?” quipped the tourist, William Gavins from New Orleans, Louisiana. “There is no reason that I shouldn’t be able to take that photograph, and I’m still outraged.”
When we at the Fake-Times went to the mall looking for witnesses, we couldn’t find anyone who was still around from earlier. We did see, however, other individuals who were taking the photograph that Gavins was arrested for taking. The police were in the same area at the time arresting photographers.
“It’s discrimination, pure and simple,” Gavins said in an exclusive with the Fake-Times.
When we questioned Officer Westminster about the specifics, he replied, “It is high time to enforce creativity laws that are on the books. One such laws says that you may not take a photograph of something that has been photographed. We're only doing our job."
Gavins was released on bail, and will have to remain in the DC Metro area until his arraignment on Tuesday. In all, police arrested 48 individuals for lack of creativity. Warning signs are now posted on the National Mall, advising originality.
Annabel Lee is a freelance reporter for the Baltimore Fake Times Journal. She had cherry toaster pastries for breakfast, and drinks too much coffee.
The sad part about this spoof article is I could actually see the police in DC doing something like this
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