Seattle, WA - Washington state National Guardsmen were called out last night to protect the city from an amassing army outside city limits. The army was seen forming on the south side of King County.
More than 3000 soldiers were deployed to stop and detain the army that was spotted by local law enforcement. When the soldiers arrived to the area, they found thousands of shooting targets that has been set up on posts.
Law enforcement is conducting an investigation into where the more than 100,000 paper soldiers came from, and who is responsible for the prank. The military is also launching an investigation into who authorized the soldiers to begin using the targets for weapon practice.
No one was hurt, though a cow did get grazed in the shoulder, and two squirrels are suffering from pretty severe post-traumatic stress disorder.
Neither law enforcement nor the military was willing to comment on the matter at this time.
Annabel Lee is a freelance journalist for the Baltimore Fake Times Journal. Thanks to the military, in the event of an actual invasion of stationary paper men, she is prepared.