Monday, July 4, 2011

Glenn Beck Finds New Way To Stay In Headlines

New Canaan, CT - Glenn Beck announced over the internet today that he is in love with the sound of his own voice. In a video posted on his website, he spoke for over an hour about the sound of his own voice. He stated how he got sexually excited by the sound of it, and how it made him want to talk nonstop.

He continued to shock his followers by announcing plans to marry his own voice on Saturday in New Haven. The ceremony will be invitation only, mostly family and close friends.

Beck had been under fire lately with sagging ratings for his television and radio programs, as well as declining book sales. He was removed from Fox News Channel for his outlandish theories and poor ratings. His Glenn Beck University has been considered a laughing stock and has since collapsed financially.

Beck has also been the subject of internet rumors of If you are not familiar with this site, it claims that Glenn Beck raped and murder two young girls in 1990. The site has been admitted to be false and in jest, though it has left a mark on the reputation of Glenn Beck.

Beck hopes that the wedding ceremony to his own voice will help boost ratings and book sales prior to the launch of his next project, Glenn Beck TV or GBTV.

Annabel Lee is a freelance journalist for the Baltimore Fake Times Journal. She hates the sounds of her voice, and has thought about divorcing it.

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