Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Local Author's Home Burglarized

Canton, OH - Up and coming author Andrew Kincaid was prepared when an intruder broke into his house this past Saturday. Kincaid, author of the new book “On Dark Paths”, was surprised when he heard a window shatter at 1 AM as he was working on his next novel. Kincaid reached for his trusty weapon and went to investigate.

He entered into the back bedroom, finding the window shattered and the wind fluttering through the curtains. He charged his weapon, an authentic proton pack, as depicted in the popular “Ghostbusters” movies and cartoons. When he saw a shadow move across the room, he fired on the intruder.

The intruder let out a scream, alerting the neighbors to a problem and the police being called. Kincaid continued firing until his pack began to overheat. By this time, the police had arrived. The intruder was none other than our own Annabel Lee.

Annabel claimed that she was just trying to get an advanced copy of Kincaid’s new book, despite it still being unfinished. Kincaid was not charged for firing the weapon, as it is listed as a novelty device.

Annabel has second degree burns on her legs and butt, as well as bit her tongue. Police are holding her on the breaking and entering charges. The BFTJ will not be posting her bail, this time.

Keith Couture is Annabel Lee’s boss at the Baltimore Fake Times Journal. Just once, he’d like to get a call from the police and it not be another Annabel Lee arrest.

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